All Things In Moderation
by sroka-x
Summary: Dean wants to teach Cas how to have fun. It may be harder than he thought. Series of one shots - Implied Dean/Cas.
1. Public Fornication

**Disclaimer: Don't own anything... but I wish I had my own Dean and Cas to use however I want.**

**Inspired by a scene from Buffy. Can anyone guess which one? Props to anyone who can guess.**

Castiel's eyes widened as he beheld the scene before him.

It had to be some kind of demonic ritual. Cas could think no other rational explanation for what he was witnessing - limbs flailing in every direction, bodies pounding against one another and the noises. Cas' mind was in turmoil as fear, disgust and a perverse kind of fascination fought for control. Fascination won. Cas had never seen anything like this and couldn't tear his eyes away.

Across the room, Sam and Dean huddled together, arguing quietly.

"I told you this was a bad idea!" Sam exclaimed, "Just look at him..."

Dean cast a worried glance at Castiel, The angel was standing as still as a statue, his head tilted slightly in obvious confusion. His shoulders were tense and it was clear that he found the situation uncomfortable.

But Dean couldn't allow himself to care.

"You didn't see him, Sam!", Dean replied heatedly, "He went full-on love guru. Orgies, Mary-J, the works. There is no way I'm letting Cas become a bigger degenerate than me!"

"And this is your solution? Bringing him to a club? That's pretty lame Dean, even for you" Sam scoffed.

"We're teaching him to have fun. To let loose a little. Get that stick out of his ass" Dean huffed in exasperation, "It's the responsible, repressed ones that you have to watch out for. One taste of something fun, something forbidden and BAM! They lose they're human and start conducting impromptu orgies while stoned out of their minds!"

"Hey!" Sam protested, "I'm responsible... and it's not like I've gone off the deep end"

Dean snorted.

"Yes... because knocking back demon's blood means you're totally well-adjusted"

Sam blushed, looking sheepish.

"We should probably go check on him" he replied, avoiding his brother's eyes.

"Cas?" Dean's voice was tentative and hesitant; he didn't want to startle the angel.

Castiel turned towards the brothers, his face devoid of emotion - only his eyes betrayed the confusion and fear that the angel was struggling with.

"What is this?" he asked, his nose wrinkled in disgust.

Dean was slightly taken aback.

"Dude, you're like thousands of years old... haven't you ever seen dancing before?"

"I have seen dancing," Cas replied stiffly "_This _ is not dancing."

"Oh really? Then what is it?" Dean's voice dripped with sarcasm.

"Public fornication" stated the angel simply.

Dean didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Castiel could be so freakin' exasperating.

"They're fully clothed Cas. _Fornication _ usually requires fewer clothes"

"That's a pretty loose interpretation of the term 'fully-clothed, Dean'" Sam interrupted, gesturing towards the throng of dancing people. The skirts some of the girls were wearing could hardly be classified as skirts and Sam was pretty sure he could see a couple of shirtless men as well. That and the grinding were doing nothing to disprove Cas' theory.

"Dude, not helping!" Dean snapped at his brother

He turned back to Cas.

"_You_ are going to dance and have fun whether you like it or not," he announced, leaving no room for argument.

"As you wish Dean"

The angel's arm shot out towards Dean one arm looping firmly around his waist, the other grabbing hold of his hand. He pulled Dean towards him, stepping backwards and forwards to an imaginary beat.

Dean froze in shock. He jumped away from Castiel, his heart began to pound faster than usual.

"What the hell!" he exclaimed as Sam dissolved into a fit of giggles.

"Did you not wish for us to dance?" Cas cocked his head to the side, clearly confused.

Dean barely heard him.

"Did you just make me dance the girl part?"

A/N: Just something fun I felt like writing. Reviews are loved and very much appreciated.

If there's enough of a positive response I might write a couple more chapters about Dean teaching Castiel about the simple pleasures in life... because Cas needs to have more fun!


	2. Eat me up

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

Dean teaching Castiel to enjoy food. I just wanted to get this up... the writing sucks but it's just a bit of fluffy fun. If you want something with higher calibre writing check out some of my Gossip Girl (especially Pretence and Acceptance - I'm really proud of that one), Buffy or Harry Potter stories.

**OK, enough shameless self-promotion. Enjoy!**

**I have ideas for a couple more chapters... but if you have a specific pleasure (... not that one - mind out of gutter!] you want Dean to teach Castiel about, I'm open to suggestions!**

Dean pushed the plate towards the angel sitting across from him. Castiel stared at the hamburger and mound of french fries on the plate before him, frowning slightly.

"Just eat the freaking burger Cas"

"Dean, as I have told you many times, my vessel does not require nourishment"

Dean tried to squash the frustration that was rising in him and threatening to spill over.  
>"Humans don't just eat to survive. We eat because it's fun"<p>

Castiel shot Dean a disapproving glance."Gluttony is a sin."

Dean rolled his eyes and took a deep breath, pushing thoughts of strangling Castiel out of his mind.

"Burger. Mouth. Not that hard... and it's not like you've never eaten before. I've seen you devour an entire cow's worth of burgers"

"I was under the influence of Famine. I had no control over myself " Cas pointed out coldly.

"But they made you happy" Dean reminded him.

Castiel reluctantly conceded with a nod of his head.

"So humour me and eat up..." Dean's voice was encouraging, as though he was talking to a child.

Cas eyed the burger doubtfully, but picked it up with both hands and brought it to his mouth. He didn't know how the hunter always managed to talk him into doing whatever he wanted. He was an all-powerful angel, he should be able to resist the influence of one measly human... even if that human was Dean Winchester.

Cas sighed and took a big bite of the burger. It was a bacon cheeseburger - Dean's favourite.

He chewed slowly.

"Well...?" Dean cast a worried glance at the angel. Castiel's eyes were huge, his pupils dilated.

Cas smiled slightly.

"I had forgotten how good burgers taste" he spoke thickly, through a mouthful of food.

Dean grinned back at him. He didn't know why, but the fact that Cas liked his favourite food, made him happy.

"Now we just have to teach you some table manners" he added.

Cas took another bite of his burger."I don't understand"

Dean's nose wrinkled in disgust. "Don't talk with your mouth full"

Cas nodded and swallowed the last of his burger.

"I want another"

"Humans generally only eat one"

"I'm not human"

Dean sighed. His attempt at trying to teach the angel how to enjoy things in moderation was failing miserably.

"...you'll get fat"

Cas snorted. "I am an angel-of-the-Lord. We do not store excess fat"

"I don't know... Zachariah was looking a bit round around the middle"  
>"Dean..." Cas pouted, his eyes pleading.<p>

Dean's eyes widened in shock. Was Castiel making puppy eyes at him?

"Stop making that face Cas! Did Sam teach you that?"

Cas nodded.

"I'm going to kill him" Dean muttered to himself.

"Is the 'puppy-dog face' working?" Cas asked " Sam said that it was a powerful weapon that I could use to make people bend to my will"

"It doesn't work on me" Dean lied.  
>"Just one more...?" Cas whined.<p>

Dean didn't want to give in so easily. It was annoying how easily Castiel with his stupid bright blue eyes and messy black hair.

"... gluttony is a sin"

Castiel cast him a dark look and replied haughtily. "I rebelled against Heaven. I highly doubt a bit of overindulgence will make a difference."

Dean gulped nervously. Rebel Cas was kind of sexy.


	3. Hold me close, Huggybear

**WARNING: Fluff**

**Writing this chapter gave me the warm fuzzies. I hope you get the same!**

**To all those who have watched the Cas-centric episode 6x20 (?) ... Am I still going to love my angel after watching it? I'm only up to The French Mistake and I'm already apprehensive.**

**And a big thanks to all those who gave suggestions for future chapters.**

"I don't understand"

Those three words were fast becoming Castiel's catch-phrase. As much he liked the Winchester brothers, humans and their strange customs still confused him.

"It's the way humans show affection" Sam explained patiently, for what seemed like the hundredth time.

"And humans enjoy this?" Cas' eyes widened in disbelief.

"Very much" Sam replied, his voice serious.

"And Dean will be pleased if I show my allegiance in this way?"

Sam nodded, suppressing a smirk. He was sure that Dean would enjoy this far more than he would ever let on.

Cas was still having doubts.

"But Dean was very firm about the concept of personal space..."

Sam choked back a laugh. "I think he was a little upset that you materialised in the shower... while he was still in it"

"Yes. Apparently this was highly inappropriate" Cas sighed. Worry creased his brow, he wasn't certain how the elder Winchester brother would take to this new encroachment on his personal space.

It was clear to Sam that Cas was still uncomfortable with the plan. It was kind of cute how he was so worried about upsetting Dean.

"Don't worry. This time will be completely different."

The angel still looked apprehensive.

"Trust me Cas" Sam almost begged.

Cas sighed. "Fine...although given your propensity for making bad judgments, putting my faith in you does not seem all that wise"

It was Sam's turn to let out a deep sigh. Angels - they really have no tact.

He decided to ignore the angel's comment and focus on the task at hand..

"Now Cas, let's try it one more time, just to make sure you've got it down"

Dean was in a good mood; the sun was shining, the birds were singing and his favourite cherry pie was on special at the diner accross the road. Dean almost felt like whistling, but luckily he didn't know how, so he could preserve that shred of his dignity.

He jammed his key into the motel door and stepped inside the room that he and Sammy were renting until the end of the week.

Sammy and Cas were already in the motel. Sam was sprawled out on the bed casually flicking through channels, while Cas was perched stiffly at the edge of the mattress. Dean hadn't expected Cas to be there. The angel hadn't been around much lately.

The minute Dean stepped into the room, Cas' eyes were drawn to him.

Dean grinned at the angel. "What's up Cas? Trouble up above?"

Cas didn't reply, instead getting up off the bed and walking towards Dean.

Dean's brown knit together in confusion as the angel closed the space between them. What the hell was going on?

Dean locked eyes with the angel, his eyes brilliant blue and sparking with a strange kind of intensity.

And then before Dean had a chance to react, he was wrapped in Castiel's arms.

The angel's arms were strong around him, enveloping him in a blanket of warmth and safety. Dean could feel Cas' hot breath on the back of his neck and his stomach began to twist into knots, but he didn't seem to mind.

Dean wrapped his arms around the angel, hugging him back for a second before extricating himself from Castiel's arms.

He shot a questioning look at the angel. "What was that all about?"

Castiel ignored him, turning instead to Sam.

"I think I finally understand why humans enjoy this"


End file.
